…Especially for the first time. But I know in the end I’ll be OK.
After orientation in the beginning of June, I felt that things were falling into place. That was until I started looking at all the posts on Facebook about things I hadn’t even heard of, let alone checked out. My dad (who is just about tech illiterate) was bugging me about getting an on-campus job, withdrawing money from my college account, paying the bursar bill, getting textbooks, and buying dorm stuff and school supplies and clothes. It was literally overwhelming.
But eventually every storm runs out of rain. My storm rain out of rain last night at about 10:30 pm. Everything just all of a sudden cam together. Earlier in the day I had figured out billing, bought my textbooks, and finished our alcohol education program. And then at 10:30 I found out my hall (which just happens to be in a fantastic location), found out and talked to my new roommate, and chatted with fellow Smart Sister and Miami girl Kristen about some upcoming projects she’s working on! Everything just all of a sudden came together perfectly!! You know that saying about how things might not work out how you planned/expected, or when you wanted them to, but somehow everything always ends up being alright in the end? That’s exactly how I felt!!
For about the entire month of July, I was beginning to get pre-homesick…the type of homesickness where you are still at home but are starting to understand what you’ll be leaving and start to get sad. I was ready to break down crying at a moment’s notice, and I was this close to changing my mind and going to community college while living at home. But ultimately I’m glad I didn’t. I just told myself, you have to leave the nest sometime, and college is the perfect combination of being on your own while still being taken care of by your parents.
It’s always scary doing something for the first time, but when it’s the first time you’re going to be away from home for an extended period of time (like, longer than summer camp or vacation), it’s doubly scary. You never know what could happen while you’re away, but somehow you just have to trust that things will be ok in the end. Everything has a way of turning out for the best, and, just like your parents have to deal with you growing up and moving out, you have to learn to let your parents go and become more independent and self-sufficient. Your parents will always be there for you, but it’s time to grow up a little and take advantage of the fact that you’re going to college, where you will meet new friends (who may become lifelong friends and best friends and a future spouse), have networking opportunities, have job and career and internship opportunities, and have a lot of fun along the way.
I’m not going to lie. While right now I’m feeling great, and come September I’ll probably be feeling great, those first few days after my parents (especially my dad) leave me in my dorm, I’m probably (actually, most definitely) going to be a wreck. I’m going to miss my dog and my dad, my room (and especially my bathroom – communal bathrooms are not my thing), my parents good cooking…I’m going to miss home. But college is going to become my home, and in time I will be missing college more than I miss my childhood home. It’s going to be hard and heartbreaking, exciting and exhilarating, overwhelming and stressful. But it’s going to be good for me. Julie Andrews once said in The Sound of Music “When God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.” You just have to believe.
Love and Honor,